Things I Secretly Hope Will Happen During My Pregnancy, But That Are Pretty Much Guaranteed Not To...

If you know me, (and I think you do), then you know that I love to "secretly" do things. Perhaps I have secretly raced you at one time or another (I like to secretly race people at tying shoes, or at putting in contact lenses, although that last one pretty much only pertains to Scott). I also like to secretly think things, however I will usually tell you what I am secretly thinking, like when I tell Scott that I secretly am craving a DQ mint oreo blizzard, perhaps. Lately, though, I have been secretly hoping many things about having a baby. The thing about secretly hoping things is that they probably aren't going to come true. But that's where the whole "secret" thing comes into play. If it's a secret, then you don't sound so stupid as when you may actually be hoping something that probably isn't going to come true. Anyway, here are the things I am secretly hoping will happen during my pregnancy, but that are pretty much guaranteed not to:

*I'm secretly hoping to not get any bigger than I already am. I've probably gained around 20 pounds, although my doctor's think I've gained 15 (because they weighed me after we got back from our cruise and I was officially 5 pounds heavier than I was before the cruise due to all the cruise cuisine). Anyway, I can't really imagine myself getting too much bigger than I am right now...so I think I'll stay this size for the duration. You know you're going from a cute baby bump to a huge baby belly when you and your husband are standing at the bathroom sink together and he reaches across you to turn on the light and his arm hits your belly instead of getting to the wall for the light switch. And then you know it's definitely HUGE when you look at your husband with the "why are you hitting me?" look and he's staring back at you with large eyes that just read, "woah, you are getting big!" Anyway...someone at work today told me I looked small. Which is so not true, she was just being nice. But it was nice to hear!

*I secretly want to be a pregnancy model. With all of the on-line shopping I am doing looking for pants with a 35" inseam, I can't help but notice the bellies of all the women in the pictures looking so good with their belly bumps, and I totally think to myself "I can do that!" I'm right at the stage where the maternity clothes are fitting well, and I haven't succombed to the tent-like clothing that is "functional" instead of "stylish." And, since I'm secretly hoping to stay the same size for the remainder of my pregnancy, keeping this perfect baby bump for modeling should not be a problem. But, do you think they use ACTUAL pregnant people for their models or do you think that the woman pictured are just models wearing one of those baby pillow things? Hmmm...something to think about...

*I secretly want to have a small baby. I've heard enough about 10 pound babies already. I want a normal, 7 pound baby. I hear that 7 pounds is average. However, all the babies I know are more in the 8-9 pound range or higher (like my nephew, who was a whopping 11 pounds!). I don't know where all the 7 pound babies are, but I'm hoping I've got one. We had another ultrasound the other day, and already the doctor said she is "measuring big." Great. It's all about the genes, I suppose, and I am no small person, but a girl can dream...

*I secretly hope that I will never feel pregnant. So far, so good. In my first few months, I never felt sick, never was tired, never had cravings, nothing! Even now, I still get a glance at the belly every once and while and I think, "Woah! What is that?" And then I remember that I'm pregnant. My back doesn't hurt, I'm not swollen, no stretchmarks (at least not yet!), nothing that would scream to me "YOU'RE PREGNANT!" While at Lake George, one of our cousins came over to our dock while we were sitting around to talk. I stood up, possibly to jump in the water, and she asked me, "Oh!! Are you having a boy or a girl?" and I'm sure I looked at her as puzzled as could be. I thought to myself, "What is she talking about?" And then, obviously, I remembered. It's never far from mind, but it's definitely strange to feel like my completely normal self. I'm sure this will change as Baby Beebe continues to "measure big" and I, in turn, get bigger and bigger. But maybe I'll be one of those precious few who never fully knows what all the symptoms of pregnancy are all about.